Positive and negative are directions. Which direction do you choose?
by Remez Sasson

Years ago Julia Cameron inspired me with her teachings in  The Artist’s Way. I was recently given another of her books The Creative Life – finding your true North. In it she describes Nigel, also known as her Inner Censor, visualised as a gay British designer, whose standards she can never satisfy.

It was only in my 20’s that I too became aware of an inner voice that admonished me as ‘Joanne’, said bad things, made me feel bad and influenced my decision-making. My Inner Censor, although alive and well, doesn’t have a name but she can be really mean.

In the past I wanted to eradicate her but I now know this is not possible so I have learned to deal with her and other types of negativity along the way.

Dealing with the Inner Censor

Most of us have about 70 000 thoughts per day which equates to about a thought every second of the day. Whilst some thoughts are positive, a majority are negative, repetitive and about old stuff. Many of the self-help brigade of the 1990′s promoted negative thinking as bad or wrong, but from an evolutionary standpoint, negative thinking served to keep our ancestors alert, safe and alive in prehistoric times.

These days I realise that negative thinking is part of our make-up however there are methods to keep us moving forwards rather than backwards. I use three methods that engage the power of words.

1. Positive Affirmations

Louise Hay is the doyenne of positive affirmations. Her power thought cards were a major influence for The Art of Being project in 2007.

In preparation for writing this, I have surrounded myself with favourite inspirational products. I have chosen a power thought card that says: “I release all fears and doubts”. It was just what I needed to drown out my inner censor who wanted to demoralise me with: “Who do you think you are?”, “You don’t know what you are doing” etc etc.

What is an affirmation and how does it work?

An affirmation is a positive statement to counteract and override a negative belief. You cannot have a positive and a negative thought at the same time so you set up your positive intention even if you don’t believe it 100% when you start.

Use a simple phrase that encourages you to succeed and make sure:

1. It is in the present tense ‘as if’ you have already succeeded
2. It uses only positive words
3. It feels right
4. It uses words with power and feeling
5. It is short and easy to remember
6. It counteracts something negative in your life

A current affirmation of mine is: “I write a hugely popular blog “. Take a minute to write your own affirmation about one of the areas below which you wish to succeed in or make changes to e.g. I am in a fulfilling and loving relationship.

• Work                                      
• Relationships                       
• Health & fitness                    
• Personal development
• Wealth
• Home
• Leisure

Affirmations can be particularly powerful when read aloud and placed where you can see them eg on the bathroom mirror, on your steering wheel, in your diary etc.

When you start it is quite normal for the mind to go into resistance, negativity and Inner Censor mode. Just notice it for now and keep affirming.

2. Inspirational quotes

I began collecting inspirational quotes years ago from books and the internet and then began to make up some of my own. The poetry and pithiness within them inspires me. I tend to write them up on mirrors or in a special journal. Those that seem right for me today are:

“If it’s meant to be; it’s up to me” Terri Gulick

“Be inspired by your own life” Jo Johnston

“Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

           3.   Inspirational images + words

The third way I enjoy the power of words is using them with images. The left side of the brain processes words and the right side processes images. The right side also deals with negative emotions and unconstructive thinking.

The Art of Being images integrate the best of both worlds. Each of the original 69 artworks include a phrase embedded with an image about ways of being eg Be Loved. By focusing on the image and word, you can set an intention to have more of that state or mood or value in your life. If you would to spend some time with the art of being images, visit gallery or download the FREE art of being screensaver . If you are drawn to an image, ask yourself:

“Why am I inspired by or drawn to this image or message?”

“How can I be more like this?”

“What do I need to DO to be like this?”

“When will I start?”

“Who do I know who is like this already?”

“How did they do it?”

OR Pick an image as your Mission Mood which can be purchased as a poster or print on canvas if it is a longer term goal.

This is one of my artworks called “Spending time with Frida Kahlo”. I used inspiration from a portrait Frida had painted of her sister. Around the outside it says “When you are right, your world will be”. I painted it at a time when my Inner Censor was getting too much airtime. It is available as a poster or canvas print from Jo’s Gallery.

I believe there is a power in words that can override the Inner Censor and keep you on the Dream, Dare & Do journey. I would love to hear your comments, inspirational quotes or how you use the power of words in your life.

Ps. I was coming home today and this was on the window of the car in front:

“Love, Peace, Sunshine”

Be the best version of yourself!

A 21 year old man had been taken by a shark while body boarding off the west coast of Australia. Prior to his untimely death, his mother in Queensland, said she often spoke to him on the phone. When asked how he was, he would invariably answer, “Living the dream mum, living the dream”. His time on earth may have been short but it sounded to me as though he ‘got’ life. It seems to me that some of us exist through each day rather than living with passion and purpose.

My current mantra is to live “Life as Art”. This new lifestyle and mindset needs continuous nurturing & commitment, backed with vision, values, goals and habits. I also need to defy (more) demons. In the past when push came to shove, I have pretty easily crumpled in the face of demons like fear, feelings of inadequacy, loss of motivation, procrastination, lack of discipline and lack of willpower.

Over coffee one day, I heard about ‘The Confidence Gap: From Fear to Freedom’ by Dr Russ Harris, a proponent of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT ). ACT is about maximizing our potential for a rich, full & meaningful life by living according to our values. We learn to accept what is out of our personal control while committing to actions that improve and enrich our life. I like it.

I discovered 8 ideas from the book that are helping me stay on track as I dream, dare & do.

1. Fear

Fear doesn’t hold you back. It is your attitude towards it that keeps you stuck.

2. Roadblocks

We give ourselves reasons not to do things that are important to us. We put up obstacles, make self-judgements, compare ourselves to others and make predictions of failure.

3. Experiential Avoidance

We try to avoid or rid ourselves of thoughts and feelings we don’t want. Unfortunately the less we make room for discomfort the lower our quality of life. We need to make room for uncomfortable thoughts and feelings as they show up and stop choosing short-term relief that avoids the discomfort but leaves life empty and in the comfort zone. In fact high levels of experiential avoidance is correlated with reduced performance, increased stress and a higher risk of depression & anxiety.

4. Workability

Ask yourself: “Is what I am doing working to help me create a richer, fuller and more meaningful life?”

When negativity guides your actions, you are unlikely to get the life you want. Unhook from negative thoughts and act proactively to get the life you want.

5. Values

I used to live by goal-setting. If I didn’t achieve a goal I never thought about whether the goal was underpinned by my values. I have now discovered that our values give us direction whilst goals are simply the things we want to achieve along the way.

6. Commitment vs Motivation

This was probably my biggest ‘aha’ moment. In the past:

• I only took action when I was in the mood, psyched up and/or feeling good. I spent my days at the mercy of my emotions and if I felt bad or low, I simply gave up what really mattered and put my life on hold until I felt good, positive or inspired again. Ouch!

Now my intention is to:

• commit and take action to do the important things, whether I am in the mood or not. I am no longer at the mercy of my emotions and I behave like the person I want to be and do the things I need to do, even if I am tired, anxious or don’t want to.

The next time you feel unmotivated, assess the competing desire and recognize what is motivating your choices. As I sit here I am motivated to get up and make a cup of tea to avoid the discomfort of continuing to type (and think). One of my values however is to inspire other people so I have committed to writing instead and haven’t got up for my cup of tea!

From now on ask yourself: “Even though I don’t feel motivated, am I willing to do the actions that will make my life richer?” Say ‘yes’, make room for any negative thoughts and feelings, commit to your valued direction and act accordingly.

7. Confidence

The actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later (or sometimes not at all).

ACT teaches how to ‘do’ confidence in 3 ways through mindfulness:

1. Defusion: Distance yourself and let go of unhelpful thoughts, beliefs and memories. Ask yourself, “Is this helpful?”
2. Acceptance: Make room for painful feelings, urges and sensations and allow them to come and go without a struggle
3. Connect with the present: engage with your here and now experience with an attitude of openness and curiosity

 8.  Peak Performance

Life is work, love, play and health. Peak performance needs health & wellbeing which come from taking care of our bodies and our relationships. Excellence in anything requires sacrifice but we need to be smart about what we decide to sacrifice.

Decide to live your dream. This is Be a Dreamer from the art of being collection which can be purchased in the online gallery. You can also download your FREE art of being screensaver and sign up for my weekly inspirational updates.

Dream, Dare & Do to live your dream life. Be the best version of yourself!

The police came along after a day or two and checked out the rego, and moved the branches off the bike. Still the bike remained as cars parked around it day after day. One day the bike was gone and I will never know the full story. It doesn’t matter. I simply loved the fact that it was out of the ordinary and peaked my curiosity.

The photo opportunity arose at the same time I was reading a book by Dr Todd Kashdan aptly titled Curious? which was published by Harper Collins in 2009. Thumbs up for synchronicity.

Kashdan believes curiosity is the missing ingredient to a fulfilling life. He says it is different from other means of fulfillment because curiosity is all about appreciating and seeking out the new and looking for novelty and freshness in the familiar.

He writes: “Curiosity creates possibilities; the need for certainty narrows them. Curiosity creates energy, the need for certainty depletes”.

Research has been carried out which established that most of us spend only about 25-30minutes a day doing what we love. At least 40minutes of our day is consumed by doing things we detest like commuting, standing in a queue or waiting for customer service on a phone.

There are 24 hours in a day and scheduling the time for novelty is essential. If you want to change then you need to devote time to it. A few years ago I read The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. She designed a 12 week program to unblock creativity which I completed and cannot speak highly enough about. One of the methods she describes is to go on an ‘artist date’ by yourself each week to explore something new and interesting.

It is lovely talking about creative pursuits and adventure. The fact is that the mundane routines in life still aren’t going to magically disappear however the way we deal with them can change. We can inject variety into our everyday routine. Go to work a different way, mix up our exercise routine, try a different vegetable, cook a new meal. If there is an activity you really dislike but have to do it, Kashdan suggests finding 3 novel or unique things about it. I have done this with ironing! 

Apparently curious people have the same sorts of fears and doubts as anyone else but build up a tolerance for distress. Curious people act on their curiosity and explore what intrigues them while taking their anxiety along for the ride. The more we enhance curiosity the more we comfortable we become tackling change and difficult situations.

Thoughts and feelings are not an accurate reflection of what we can do and achieve. Self-doubt, the need for control and fear or uncertainty are normal healthy parts of risk-taking. It is far better to trust our curiosity, our interests and our values rather dwelling on thoughts and feelings that can hold us back.

Make curiosity a focus. Work on investing in your passions, interests and values and take any anxiety along for the ride (in the back seat). Find a role model who inspires you while remembering to honour your own uniqueness and Dream, Dare & Do.

If you enjoyed this article why not sign up for my weekly updates or invest your curiosity in a visit to the online galleries for inspiration on your journey to Dream, Dare & Do.

Be the best version of yourself!

Helen Keller was an inspiration to me when I was at primary school. She was an author, political activist and lecturer, all amazing achievements in themselves. Keller was also deaf and blind from the age of 19 months after an illness and wanted to learn how to communicate despite these disabilities.

She learned to speak, she read people’s lips with her hands, used Braille and read sign language with her hands. She stated: “I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.”

It seems to me that all the small tasks and all the small choices we make each day reflect  what our life will look like this minute, today, tomorrow and next year.

What if we decide to make our lives a bit better by making the best choices we can each day? They don’t have to be big.

Ask yourself: “What is the smallest possible step that I can take today which will lead towards my goal?”

Making choice choices can work on so many levels.

Align with your values: If you follow the life compass of living by your values, you need to ask each day: “Is this choice in keeping with my values?”

New habits: I don’t know about you but I sometimes find it difficult to develop new habits to the point that they become ingrained in my life. Quite often I want to choose negative actions that give me short term relief like cancelling running, eating that extra piece of bacon or putting off that ‘hard’ task for example, rather than those that are positive and life enriching.

Cause and effect: I was reminded recently of Sir Isaac Newton’s law which stated: “For every action force there is a corresponding reaction force which is equal in magnitude and opposite in direction.” This applies to science but also to our behaviours and choices. As Melody Beattie said in her book “Choices”: “We don’t just get our choice; we get the consequences that choice creates.”

The butterfly effect: The butterfly effect theory states that if enough butterflies in China flap their wings, this could eventually make enough turbulence to cause a storm in another country. Small decisions and choices we make each day, even those that seem inconsequential can alter our destiny.

Remember that building your dream life is about the choices you make about your values, goals and habits. Start with recognising the small decisions you are making. Sometimes it is also the little choices you make each day that might give you the best feelings of the day. It could be little things from the heart like sending a thank you note or ringing a sick friend.

Choices are cause and effect. Make ‘choice’ choices which honour you. Dream, Dare & Do!

Visit the online gallery for more inspiration or download the free Art of Being screensaver of 69 inspirational images about being which may help keep you on track for the doing and the having.

Be the best version of yourself!

All good on paper but I found myself struggling through each day with unrelenting feelings of resentment, lethargy and even despair. I felt really depressed and wondered how I could feel so trapped and unhappy with my lot when my ‘lot’ was good in so many ways. I also couldn’t work out how I got to this place when I live by the creed that ‘you create your own reality’.

I have studied widely in the areas of positive psychology and the power of the mind since my late 20’s. None of the techniques and strategies I knew were working and to be honest I probably wasn’t using them. All my energy was invested in my work. I was exhausted all the time and had no quality time left for play, friends or exercise.

Luckily the old adage about ‘when the student is ready the teacher will come’ came to my rescue. In this instance it was Martin Seligman, a guru in positive psychology. He wrote Flourish which explores wellbeing and what makes life worth living. I couldn’t wait to devour his research findings which I will share with you here.

The 5 elements we need for well-being in a nutshell:

1. Positive emotion – How we rate happiness and life satisfaction
2. Engagement – A flow state where you are completely absorbed in something and lose time
3. Meaning – Belonging to and serving something that you believe is bigger than the self
4. Accomplishment or achievement – A dedication of life towards accomplishment for the sake of it
5. Positive relationships – Other people are deemed the best antidote of life and most reliable ‘up’ for life’s downs

As I digested what was crucial to wellbeing, it was suddenly clear that I was floundering in many of these areas. No wonder I was so unhappy.

I also realized that where I had enthusiastically promoted visioning and goal-setting in the past, I didn’t have any clear goals at present, nor was I aware of the core values that underpinned my life. In hindsight I was living life according to other people’s rules rather than my own. It was time to go back to the drawing board.

The recipe for Flourishing

I love the Mary Engelbreit saying, “Flourish where you are planted”. Martin Seligman states in wellbeing theory that the goal is to increase the amount of flourishing in our lives and on the planet. Researchers from the University of Cambridge have been able to define and measure flourishing. Apparently we must have all of these things:

• Positive emotions – Taking all things together, how happy would you say you are?
• Engagement – I love learning new things
• Interest
• Meaning – I generally feel that what I do in my life is valuable and worthwhile
• Purpose

We need 3 of these as well:

• Self-esteem – In general, I feel very positive about myself
• Optimism – I’m always optimistic about my future
• Resilience – When things go wrong in my life, it generally takes me a long time to get back to normal. (opposite answers indicate more resilience)
• Vitality
• Self-determination
• Positive relationships – there are people in my life who really care about me

Basically we have to ask ourselves what really makes us happy. Seligman introduced me to a wonderful exercise to get in touch with your strengths and core values. I think this is so much better than trying to fix up your faults and weaknesses all the time.

The exercise is called the Values in Action Signature Strengths Test which you can do for free by going to www.authentichappiness.org . The idea is that by understanding your signature strengths you will find new and more frequent uses for them.

How to DO your signature strengths.

Obviously there is no point in knowing what your strengths are unless you find ways to own them and use them. Set aside a time where you commit to use one of more of your signature strengths in a new way at home, work or leisure.

I found out that my highest signature strength is an appreciation of beauty and excellence. My new mantra is “Life as art” so each day I allocate a portion of my day to beauty such as a walk on the beach or cooking something special. In terms of excellence I read something inspirational or educational and allocate time to improve my artistic skills and writing.

I journal everyday and already I can see the positive change in the way I write about my day, myself and what I value in life.

I hope you too have been inspired to find out what your values or signature strengths are. The exercise was an ‘Aha’ moment for me and inspired me to set up this blog and pursue my artwork. If you haven’t done it already, here is the website again where you can find out what your Values in Action Signature Strengths are www.authentichappiness.org

You may also get further inspiration from The Art of Being artworks or Jo’s gallery. Many of the art of being images underpin moods or states which reflect our values. Also don’t miss out on the FREE Art of Being screensaver  featuring the original 69 artworks.

So Flourish (even more) where you are planted. Until next time.

Be the best version of yourself!